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Joke of the Day
"Everyone romanticizes the past until they get horribly sick and wake up covered in leeches."
Next Joke
"back in my day, we had to print out a tweet and hand it to a friend for a retweet. you kids got it easy ""shut the fuck up grandma"""
"Why did the melon get married in a church? Because he was in love with a cantaloupe."
"[Donald Trump's election speech] ""America, I have only 1 thing to say"" *pulls off wig & mask revealing Ashton Kutcher* ""YOU'VE BEEN PUNK'D"""
"April is autism awareness month Anyone here aware they have autism"
"I met this one guy who thought killing someone to save many is still wrong. God, what a Kant."
"The Atlanta Falcons"
"Walmart has an alarming amount of security camera video with me humping stuff with a swimming pool noodle."
"I have a friend that's addicted to brake fluid. But he says he can stop anytime."
"The doc gave me some bad news today... I was deficient in VITAMIN U."