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Joke of the Day

"When I found out my toaster wasn't water proof... I WAS SHOCKED!"

"I sexually identify as a counter strike. I find this globally offensive."

"They say playing video games is a waste of time, but I credit Tetris for the speed and agility I display when bagging my own groceries."

"Never let the CIA install your government. Too much spyware."

"Why was the Turkey v Germany match called off? There were too many fowls."

"How to tell someone they have a bad breath nicely ? ""Oh boy I am bored lets brush our teeth"""

"why did the chicken cross the road because it was stuck to the farmers knob."

"I bet if Jesus had turned water into Vodka. The Bible would've been a lot more interesting."

"My son looks just like me. With his eyes. xpost to /r/dadjokes"

"My signature sex move is flirting like a pornstar then getting awkward as fcuk once it looks like something could actually happen."