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Joke of the Day

"Dude, multiplication is like advanced adding."

"A midget walks into a bookstore... ...& asks clerk: 'do you happen to have any books on irony.' The clerk points to a shelf: 'top row.'"

"What's the difference between a blind hunter and a constipated owl? One shoots but can't hit while the other hoots but can't shit"

"i have an iq of 152 so actually its not ""dumb"" that im trapped in this tiny slide for children"

"Where did Zooey Deschanel grow up? In Albu-quirky."

"Why did the vampire go to hospital? He wanted his ghoulstones removed."

"If you see a distressed woman in the mall screaming that she can't find her baby, don't offer to help her make another one."

"Did you know that Diarrhea can kill you? Even if you only drink a little bit."

"the only dates i get Are the system software updates to my xbox. Play station. PC. Phone..."

"Nostradamus comes home and starts beating his dog Why are you going to shit here in the next 5 minutes? Because of the beating, you dickwad!"