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Joke of the Day

"A midget walks into a bookstore... ...& asks clerk: 'do you happen to have any books on irony.' The clerk points to a shelf: 'top row.'"

"Where is the safest place to stay at Ferguson? The public pool, if it is too crowded try the library."

"Falling off Bed A lunatic falls off his bed. He quickly gets up. 10 minutes later, he falls again. He thinks to himself ""Good thing I got up 10 minutes ago, or I might have fallen on myself"""

"My girlfriend was crying because she had gum in her hair. I told her to cut it out."

"What did the 7-Eleven employee say to his wife after sex? Thank you, cum again."

"I don't know who you are, but if you don't stop sending me phone books, I will find you.....and I will kill you."

"I'll get you wetter than a Scottish summer."

"Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey... I am color blind. :("

"Coworker: I could care less! Me: How much less could you care? Coworker: I don't get it. Me: I noticed."

"What kind of street to ghosts, goblins and ghouls live on? A Dead End."