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Joke of the Day
"the only dates i get Are the system software updates to my xbox. Play station. PC. Phone..."
Next Joke
"How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Hand the bitch a shovel"
"Is that a banana in your pocket or have you been lying about your name being Amy?"
"If you're throwing babies out with your bathwater, I don't think parenting is for you."
"Never buy the first round cause that's when people care what they're drinking!"
"What do you call someone who throws up after drinking too much orange soda? ... Fantastic"
"Sometimes i think my life sucks. Then i look at the lives of others. Then it hits me. My life does suck!!"
"My thumb keeps attacking my pinky... I've got a civil war on my hands!"
"What kind of vitamin does a pirate take? Vitamin sea."
"Dentist: this is gonna hurt a little bit Me: ok Dentist: I've been sleeping with your mom"