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Joke of the Day

"Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face."

"Whats the hardest part about roller skating Telling your parents you are gay"

"What do you call 2 Mexicans playing Basketball? Juan on Juan"

"What's small, purple and dangerous? A grape with a gun"

"[courtroom] Lawyer: If you didnt bite that surfers leg THEN WHO DID Shark: I'm telling you idk *whale in the audience opens a big newspaper*"

"What would you get if you crossed Halloween with Christmas? A ghoul Yule!"

"Find a group doing river baptisms. Release LSD into the water upstream. Bring friends in devil costumes. Cavort and frolic on the riverbank."

"Me: *shakes bosses hand* Sorry I'm late to the meeting boss. Boss: No problem, restroom? Me: Yes, and we're out of TP and hand soap again."

"Question: What's the difference between sin and shame? Answer: It is a sin to put it in but it's a shame to pull it out."

"You know your driving really sucks when your GPS says ""After 300 yards, stop and let me out"""