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Joke of the Day

"Find a group doing river baptisms. Release LSD into the water upstream. Bring friends in devil costumes. Cavort and frolic on the riverbank."

"What do you call spending time with you family through BDSM? Family bondage time."

"What did the hammer announce over the intercom to the evacuating screws screaming for help? ""This is not a drill!"""

"My Years in a Lunatic Asylum by I. M. Nutty"

"A little kid came up to me and said... ""I have two mommies."" ""Really?"", I said. ""Your parents are lesbians?"" ""No, my mom's just a schizophrenic."""

"Snoop Dogg; Shake what'cha momma gave you. Me; Ummm... ok. <vigorously shakes a frozen lasagna>"

"If you haven't heard my joke about the Mexican guy and the black guy, don't feel too bad. Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal."

"Guy tip: If your girlfriend has a really annoying friend, don't tell her how bothersome she is or to stop being friends with her. Just casually mention how attractive she is."

"A baby seal walked into a club ba dum tss"

"How do you know when you've played too much minecraft? When your friend wishes aloud that he could be creative and you tell him ,""your game mode has been changed."""