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Joke of the Day

"Dirty deeds done at a reasonable price with a quantity discount. That seems like a more sustainable business model."

"I'm not saying my wife is fat... but I struggle to lift her photograph"

"What kind of soda do dogs drink? Barq's Root Beer."

"I really want a sandwich, but I just don't have the time or energy to find a girlfriend right now....."

"So a dyslexic man walks into a bra"

"Have you heard about the masochist who likes taking a cold shower every morning? So he has a hot one instead."

"I spilt glue on my autobiography & then accidentally sat on it. Anyway, that's my story & I'm sticking to it."

"How do you know an Asian has robbed your house? They're still in your driveway"

"[baby wakes up in the middle night] ""Go back to sleep, hun. I'll sort it out."" [puts baby on eBay]"

"How much pussy does a Monk get? Nun"