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Joke of the Day

"If you ever feel stupid, just remember that every day, people are searching the internet to find out ""Is the drug from LIMITLESS real?"""

"Three New Yorkers are sitting at a bar... I only know this because they won't shut the fuck up about being from New York."

"I still remember taking down that bullying 12 year old on the playground like it was yesterday. My Dad was so proud. Ah, to be 30 again!"

"A little boy and a little girl are in the bathtub together. The little girl looks down at the boy and asks, ""Can I touch it?"".... He answers, ""No way -- you already broke yours off!"""

"Wife: every time we argue, you think you're right. Me: yes, because if I thought you were right, I wouldn't be arguing..."

"First people said ""Myspace"" me. Now everyone says ""Facebook"" me. I'm sticking with a classic and still telling people to ""blow"" me."

"When a lady leaves an article of clothing at my place, I do the gentlemanly thing and put it on and parade around the house looking pretty."

"Boy: My love for you is like counting the stars.. Girl: Oww, Infinite? Boy: Nope, Pointless .."

"How do hipsters talk about shoes? [...](http://imgur.com/yzelyVT)"

"The Easter Bunny doesn't always drink, but when he does it's hopscotch."