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Joke of the Day

"What's green, slimy, and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger"

"What did the squirrel say when he fell out of the tree and broke his leg? AAAAAUUUUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Humans are made up of 70% water so next time you're thirsty just eat Jeff from accounting."

"I started a three-way with a Chicken and Egg. I'll let you know."

"Crime rates are down 100% after President Obama made it illegal to do crimes. ""I don't know why we didn't think of this before,"" he said."

"Life is like a box of chocolates. I only eat the brown ones."

"Helen Keller walks into a bar... Then a table...then a chair."

"The shit stains in my toilet are so peaceful I just can't piss them off."

"If Indiana Jones was a new-born Christian what would he change his job title to? Arkeologist."

"What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip!!"