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Joke of the Day

"My biggest fear is dying in a car accident that doesn't destroy my phone"

"Who are the world's fastest readers? 9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 10 seconds."

"I'm no longer with a girl because she lied about her weight. She died in a bungee jumping accident."

"What's red and moves up and down? A tomato in an elevator :)"

"Waiter can you get rid of this fly in my starter ! I can't do that sir he's not had his main course yet !"

"I grounded my kid from electronics for a week and now he won't stop talking to me and I think I've made a horrible mistake."

"AMERICA: Where someone will eventually figure out how to fry Vodka"

"When I get naked in the bathroom... When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on."

"Darth Vader: Join me on the Dark Side, Luke! Luke: I'll never join you! Vader: We have flex hours and Pizza Fridays! Luke: NOOOOOO!!!"

"i work in the elevator business. It has it's ups and downs."