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Joke of the Day
"Who are the world's fastest readers? 9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 10 seconds."
Next Joke
"Silent Night is my favorite song about my kids staying at their grandparent's house."
"I just got laid. But don't worry, I was totally thinking about you guys the whole time."
"A man at a cemetery for Titanic victims claims to have taken a photo of a ghost. The ghost reportedly said ""there was room for two people."""
"This tweet has been brought to you by... ...Stay Free Maxi-pads... ...When your uterine lining looks like the elevator from The Shining."
"I love how Simba acts upset when Mufasa dies as if he didn't just do a choreographed musical number called ""I Just Can't Wait To Be King""."
"I broke my arm when I was a kid, my Dad carried me ten miles to the hospital, he has cancer, so that's why my tattoo is hot nurse. -LA Ink."
"Foal me once, I have a baby horse. Foal me twice, no one needs this many baby horses. Foal me thrice, please stop. I have no room for them."
"You are Darth Vader. How can you tell if your stormtroopers just played paintball in their freetime again? You can't."
"What do you call a strongheaded female rapper, and a flatulent Spanish woman? One's a Queen Latifah, and one's a Queef Latina."