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Joke of the Day

"What happens when you drop a whale on thin ice? It breaks the ice...Hi, i'm (insert name)"

"The Garlic Eater by I Malone"

"Life is like a gluten allergy.. It seems like everybody but me has one."

"IT: You deleted the OS? Me: I think so. IT: It didn't warn you? Me: Yeah, but it only kinda warned me. What's with the inquisition bro?"

"My Grandfather has the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban from the local zoo."

"What has seven arms and can't spell? Def Leppard"

"If athletes get Athlete's Foot, what do astronauts get? Missle Toe."

"A handsome man came up to me today & said ""Hi what's your name?"" I said ""You on Twitter?"" He said ""No"" We're getting married on Monday!"

"Did you know that Stalin suffered from bulimia? He didn't binge, though, he just purged."

"Tell the barista your name is Beetlejuice and quietly walk out."