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Joke of the Day

"A billionaire has a billion dollars. A millionaire has a million dollars. What do you call a person with ten dollars? A college student."

"(Nsfw) How do you titillate an ocelot? You oscillate their tits a lot. Edit: I need alot (sic) of spelling practice"

"""Son, you were adopted."" ""What, really?"" I said. ""Yes, they're coming to pick you up in an hour"""

"Who can make more money in a week, a drug dealer or a prostitute? The prostitute because she can wash and resell her crack."

"Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat."

"Why do Africans get scared when they get diarrhea? Because they think they are melting...."

"Two kittens are sitting on a roof. Which one falls off first? The one with the smallest [](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friction#Coefficient_of_friction)"

"What's the difference between GTA V Online and a non-essential government employee? Nothing neither one has been working since Tuesday..."

"[Dog yoga class] Teacher: Alright, let's go into downward human pose [Dogs hunch over and start pretending to text]"

"What does the US military and a fart have in common? Air Force"