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Joke of the Day

"Every 5 seconds, a woman gives birth to a baby. Please, stop this woman."

"According to science... Apaprnlety hmoosxeulas aer brililnat at unscarbmnlig snetnecse."

"Pizza is like sex I only get it from Papa John"

"I was going to buy a drawbridge But apparently they're let downs."

"My parents taught me that if I tried hard I could be anything I wanted to be. Sure they just meant for Halloween, but it was still nice."

"There is a special place for people who leave long voicemails, but until the ground thaws, they stay in the freezer."

"If Hillary wins the election, the whole world be like.. [removed due to WWIII]"

"Interviewer: Nice, a 4.0. Straight A's! Me: No, blood alcohol content."

"Life is a comedy for those who think, but a tragedy for those who feel."

"BREAKING NEWS: Adrian Peterson has been traded to the Minnesota Twins They needed a switch hitter"