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Joke of the Day

"My ex got me arrested cause i used to sit outside her house all day. She thought i was stalking her but i wasn't, i just had her WiFi code."

"Which fish is the redneck's favorite? A Bearcooter"

"I judge every book by its cover: ""Too smart for me"" is what I say and then look at Twitter on my phone."

"If I lived in Alabama, I'd name my daughter, 'Banjo-lina""."

"FBI: I can't unlock my phone Genius: is that a fake mustache over your mustache? FBI into earpiece: Operation Twostache has been compromised"

"A man walks into a Doctor's office screaming, ""I'm a wigwam, I'm a TeePee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a TeePee!"" The Doctor Says, ""You're too Tense"""

"""Honey did you put a dead rattlesnake in my boot?"" Oh it died?"

"Q: Why do cows moo? A: Because their horns don't work."

"Why are crabs always so tired? It's because they only sleep in snatches."

"Don't worry about my probation officer, he just likes to watch."