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Joke of the Day

"A cop pulls a guy over for speeding on a slow day Cop: ""I've been waiting for you all day."" Driver: ""Sorry, officer. I got here as fast as I could."""

"The average person has sex 89 times a year It's gunna be one hell of a week for me."

"A Roman walks into a bar an orders a martinus. ""You mean a martini?"" asks the bartender. The Roman replies, ""If I wanted more than one I would have said martini"""

"Did you hear the submarine construction business closed down? Shame they went under"

"(Art Museum) Me:*sees nature painting* *pulls out sharpie* *draws sun in the top left corner* My 5th Grade Art Teacher: *thumbs up* nice"

"HADES: Unleash the hell hound! CERBERUS: *sipping tea* I told you to ask first if it's a good time for us. HADES: Is it a-- CERBERUS: No."

"A man returns to his chiropractor ""Back again?"""

"What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic."

"Apparently telling the principal that ""it's not cheating, it's cooperative learning"" was the wrong thing to say."

"What are Canadians favorite board game? Sorry"