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Joke of the Day

"A cop pulls a guy over for speeding on a slow day Cop: ""I've been waiting for you all day."" Driver: ""Sorry, officer. I got here as fast as I could."""

"What do miss Frizzle and the catholic church have in common? They've both been in little boys."

"Why doesn't Aaron want to get out of the water, even though he is hydrophobic? Because he enjoys living in denial."

"LPT: Be thorough with everything you do and you'll struggle not to succeed!"

"Why did the vegetable kill himself? He didn't carrot all."

"Why don't woman have urinals in their bathroom Because they would clog it up with their tampons. HA HA j/k"

"My wife claims watching me do karate ""isn't foreplay."" Why am I even alive."

"If animals took over the world, what would be they're first decree? O'LAMACARE!!!!!"

"""The quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach."" - The worst surgeon in the world"

"Why did the Mexican school girl get pregnant? Here teacher said to go home and do her ""essay""."