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Joke of the Day

"HADES: Unleash the hell hound! CERBERUS: *sipping tea* I told you to ask first if it's a good time for us. HADES: Is it a-- CERBERUS: No."

"Ariana Grande is what happens if you feed a Bratz doll after midnight."

"I asked 2 girls if size matters. They both said this is something they often debate. Girl # 1 said she likes them big. Girl # 2 said she likes them enormous."

"How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won't claim that god it."

"GOD: (creates earth) hell yea lizard planet! WINDOWSTM: restart planet for important updates GOD: um ok *dinos die, man appears* GOD: wtf"

"What do you call a vegetable/fruit that dies for it's religion? A Tomartyr"

"What's the difference between a baby and a pie? I didn't cum in the pie before I ate it."

"My new neighbour is fat, obnoxious and loud... Now I know how Canada feels"

"[in the woods] Me: *rescues a deer from a bear trap* Deer: I have a boyfriend"

"Q: What do you say to the banjo player in the three piece suit? A: Will the defendant please rise."