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Joke of the Day

"A little boy with diarrhea tells his mom he needs Viagra. The mom asks, ""Why on earth do you need that?"" The little boy replies, ""isn't that what you give dad when HIS shit won't get hard?!"""

"What is the difference between a mosquito and a fly ? Try sewing buttons on a mosquito !"

"Last night a burglar broke into my house but I quickly popped open a bag of potato chips & hid in all that free space."

"I know it's International Women's Day but I'd like to give a shout out to all the national and local women as well."

"My 4 year old is a comedian and loves jokes.. this is her favorite one... Why did the banana go to the hospital? Because he wasn't peeling very well."

"We called her herpes helen We called her herpes Helen because her name was Helen."

"How do you know that Darth Vader isn't a black man underneath the mask? He claims to be your father. Edit: it's just a joke, not a dick. Don't take it so hard."

"I had an hour to kill so I watched the last two minutes of a basketball game today"

"Made a hiking playlist called 'trail mix' It has a lot of eminem in it"

"Q: What is lemonade? A: When you help an old lemon across the street."