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Joke of the Day
"How wonderful of you to... ...kick me when I'm down. You'd be a great LAPD officer."
Next Joke
"Writing about 2 dinosaurs who hate crime. They make motorcycles & badges from the meteorite that killed their dino buds. Called TriceraCOPS!"
"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only 2, but I don't know how they got in there"
"Need jokes with the same punchline as this. Help! What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick."
"I don't care how old you are, the only safe way to guarantee the monster under the bed doesn't grab you is to use the run and jump method."
"Me: Anything you can do I can do better, I CAN DO ANYTHING BETTER THAN YOU! Mom: Why are you yelling at the dog?"
"Why hasn't Africa ever won Olympic gold in basketball? Because Africa isn't a country."
"There's a spider in my bathroom. I neither can kill it or capture it, so now it has its very own room in my house to raise its spider family"
"It's uncomfortable when the neighbor's kids look like you."
"My wife is angry because I brought home a B.L.T. instead of a roast beef sandwich. Oops, wrong sub."