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Joke of the Day

"Calling someone average is mean but I think they are the mean"

"I was waiting for my wife to try on clothes & spoke to this woman for almost 20 minutes until I looked up & noticed her head was missing."

"Did you hear about the tree's birthday? It was a sappy one!"

"Why did they go from Windows 8 to Windows 10? Cause Seven ate Windows 9"

"Chuck Norris' erections hum."

"I think that some of the people I see in Wal Mart shouldn't be allowed to leave Wal Mart."

"The very first thing my 3yo daughter said to me this morning was ""I know how to start a fire!"" so nothing you guys say today can scare me."

"ppl always judge adam & eve for listening to the talking serpent but u never hear a single person say anything about dr doolittle"

"I've got a message for all you ""migratory ducks"" out there: If you're going to come to our country, learn some freaking English."

"[telling a scary story to a group of moths] and when she opened the door..[holds flashlight to face] she- AH GET OFF OF ME YOU GUYS"