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Joke of the Day

"Look, all I'm saying is that the dinosaurs didn't drink alcohol and look what happened to them."

"If you're forcing me to choose between you and my dream of making a sequel to the 1982 horror classic then you've got another Thing coming."

"Father: I hear you skipped school to play football Son: No I didn't and I have the fish to prove it!"

"Why did the kid with muscular dystrophy want to be an astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, and a NASCAR driver when he grew up? He had a lot of aspirations."

"Two animals taking a test were caught copying off each other... When one accuses the other... ""He's the CHEETAH!"" ""What? You're LION!"""

"Donald Trump on not repeating himself at last nights debate: ""I do not repeat myself! I do not repeat myself!"" Funny, cause its true."

"I saw a kid getting bullied by 4 people, so I decided to help out. He didn't stand a chance against the 5 of us."

"What belongs in the bank and doesn't exist? My tax refund."

"I remember one time when I was high... I asked a cat if it could talk. It replied Me? How?"

"Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil."