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Joke of the Day

"Look, all I'm saying is that the dinosaurs didn't drink alcohol and look what happened to them."

"Why can't you trust an atom? Because they make up everything..."

"Why do cowgirls walk bow-legged? Because cowboys always eat with their hats on."

"some terrible part of me is perpetually close to just making and selling artisinal customized tamagotchis & bein real pretentious about it"

"DATING TIP: PULL THE CHAIR OUT FOR HER. PICK THE CHAIR UP & FOLD IT. HIT HER OVER THE HEAD WITH THE CHAIR. GET THE 3 COUNT. NEW WWE CHAMPION"

"i prefer a girl without makeup. in fact i despise the artifice of flesh. give me a nice wailing skeleton"

"What is jewish Pokemontrainer called? Ash"

"What's the difference between a lobster and a bus stop? Ones a busty crustacean the other is a crusty bus station"

"Change is hard, especially the nickel."

"Science flies you to the moon Religion flies you into buildings"