156940

Joke of the Day

"Change is hard, especially the nickel."

"My girlfriend doesn't know this, but I put a dollar in an envelope every time we have sex. That's all I'm spending on her for Christmas. So far, she's only getting a McChicken."

"What do you call an amphibian in disguise? Infrognito."

"Post some more song lyrics as your status. Someone will eventually understand your struggle."

"I hate when I decide to sleep and my brain goes like ""Come back here! Remember that thing you did, why?"" & we stay up talking about it."

"Why people don't use #YOLO anymore? Because they lived once"

"I could make a sandwich before a British person finishes saying ""et cetera."""

"In the new version of Star Wars, Harrison Ford slowly flies the Millenium Falcon in the left lane with the turn signal on"

"What do you call an insignificant underage coal digger? A minor minor miner"

"I'm think about taking up Jousting so I have something to talk about at awkward dinner parties."