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Joke of the Day

"When I see a girl with a lot of makeup, I want to use my finger & write ""WASH ME"" on her face."

"*finally finds comfiest position in bed* bladder: so you're not going to believe this"

"I will let you borrow any movie from my Pixar collection, except one. I'm never gonna give you Up."

"My car dealer will subtract the number of upvotes from my purchase price. When I spend more than $100 000"

"Q: How many baby sitters does it take to change a light bulb? A: None They don't make Pampers small enough."

"My friend's parents recently got a dog called ""Bradford"" Because he's mostly brown and black, with a little patch of white."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? Because the p is silent."

"Me and my cat have been staring at each other for so long I forgot which one of us is stoned."

"What did the time traveller do after he ate the last bite of his dinner? He went back 4 seconds."

"Why was the binary number so happy? Because of two's compliment!"