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Joke of the Day

"Why do handicapped people wear shoes? Because if they didn't their local gas station would turn a blind eye."

"Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: A hundred but they'll all be competing to be the one to change the bulb and bring light to the world."

"Fire alarms should just play Nickelback Anyone who stays in the building deserves what they get."

"What do you call a barn full of black people? Antique farm equipment. What do you call a barn full of Mexicans? Updated farm equipment"

"Why did the police beat the black man after he was executed in the electric chair? He was resisting."

"Taking to people about your child abuse experience is the toughest part. The last time i did it, i had to spend 7 years in jail."

"What's the difference between a slut and a bitch? A slut sleeps with everyone. A bitch sleeps with everyone but you."

"My parrots are stuck together... Pet owner: Vet, vet, my parrots are stuck together! Vet: I'm sorry, I don't understand - it's toucan fusing"

"I love the metric system. It's the best by an absolute 1.6km"

"Three decades of playing Tetris have apparently not improved our nation's ability to stow overhead luggage."