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Joke of the Day
"Fire alarms should just play Nickelback Anyone who stays in the building deserves what they get."
Next Joke
"What do you call the upper eighth of a lime for sale? A top-of-the-lime model."
"[describing criminal to sketch artist] No, his eyes were closer together than that, like a concussed mouse. He had a Spanish skeleton."
"Why was the dietician kicked out of the casino? He was caught counting carbs."
"A creepy man is dragging a little girl into the woods. \- ""I'm scared, I'm scared!!"" she's crying. \- ""Stop crying. You think it's easy for me, ha?! The way back I'll have to do by myself."""
"My IQ came back negative."
"Life Pro Tip: Replace your shoelaces with earphone wires.. ... just look away and they'll tie themselves. (yes yes, it's not an original)"
"Everybody thought potassium was an asshole AND a narcissist. It was probably because all he ever said to anyone was ""K""."
"Paper Dance Competition Boy : Hey, will you be my partner in a paper dance competition? Girl : Sure! Boy : Great, so we are on the same page."
"It's better to plagiarize from Encarta than from Wikipedia, because people actually read Wikipedia."