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Joke of the Day

"Before I buy a leaf blower I want to make sure I understand the rules. We just blow the leaves at each other's houses, right?"

"I never knew much about people Until I took one apart, just to see how it works."

"Did you hear about the guy who died due to masturbation? It finished him off."

"What's long, green and smells like pork? ""Kermit the frogs fingers"""

"TIL there is a new type of morning-after pill, and it's for men! It changes blood type."

"My review of your face: Good, quality face. Would look again"

"Shout out to metaphors. Without you there would only be like four songs."

"me: *tries to befriend another human being* another human being: oh, no thank you"

"Why are there only seat belts in the end of the bus? Because #backlivesmatter"

"The only thing worse than paying for internet access in a hotel is free wireless that doesn't work."