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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who died due to masturbation? It finished him off."

"God grant me the serenity to accept the fact that I cannot eat a meal without staining my shirt & the courage wear a bib in public."

"*Wakes up* ""Wow I feel pretty good"" *Moves body* ""Maybe I spoke too soon"""

"Why is it called a menstrual calendar and not an egg timer?"

"What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? His wife is good at picking out clothes."

"A German woman was walking down a dark alley when she got accosted by eleven men... ...who tear her clothes apart and start to rape and molest her. The woman shouts 'Nien! Nien!', so two of them left."

"I wish I could erase my memory of certain movies so I could watch them again for the first time."

"If I committed suicide, I'd do it in front of a mirror... I'll see myself out."

"The bartender says ""we don't serve your kind here."" A time traveller walks into a bar."

"I don't care if Ernie and Bert are gay or not, but how do they afford that apartment? Do they even have jobs."