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Joke of the Day

"My daughter knows what a meth lab is thanks to an episode of The Simpsons. At least that's what I had to tell child services just now."

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"How do government employees wink when they're at work? They briefly open one eye."
"""What's a karate experts favorite drink?"" ""Karatea!"" Fargo is the shit..."
"When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people."
"By my calculations, I've spent approximately $39 throughout my life to watch bananas turn brown on my kitchen table"
"Happy Thanksgiving Reddit! Let us all give thanks to the day Jesus ate turkey with the pilgrims."
"Dr. Who knock knock joke Knock knock Who is it? **Doctor.** Doctor who? **YES**"
"What did the 3 tampons say when they walked past you? Nothing! They were all stuck up bitches..."
"So you got mustard on your jeans. Shut up about it. We live on a wet marble that flies circles around a giant burning star. Fuck your jeans."
"I really don't have a clear stance on abortion On one hand I'm all for killing babies. But on the other hand I don't support women's rights."