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Joke of the Day

"So you got mustard on your jeans. Shut up about it. We live on a wet marble that flies circles around a giant burning star. Fuck your jeans."

"What is the difference between snowmen and snowladies? Snowballs"

"I have only ever completed 2 successful high-fives."

"""Flight 1234 are you ready to copy holding instructions?"" ""Center make that request on the next frequency...."""

"Why couldn't the Meteor marry the Ice Comet? It had a fear of Cometment"

"If cats could text you back, they wouldn't."

"A mexican, a black person and a puerto rican are in the same car. Who is driving? The cop. PS: I in no way support this. Just heard it somewhere. :P"

"A boycott is just a smaller version of a manbed."

"They should do a scene in a comedy movie where someone rides their bike into a parked car."

"Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally"