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Joke of the Day

"My daughter asked if I am going to die someday I said ""Don't worry sweetheart. I promise I'll be alive for the rest of my life."" She looked relieved."

"A punchline my Japanese girlfriend came up with: What's black, white, and red all over? A Black Santa Claus!!!"

"Interesting that the homeless population is down and now there is a big sale of unlabeled meat at the grocery store."

"Watched 'Man of Steel' in Spanish for 7 minutes before realizing something was off."

"What do you call a Mexican that lost his car? Carlos"

"So I just learned ejaculation comes out at 27mph. That makes it illegal in a School zone."

"I told my friend she'd drawn her eyebrows on too high... she looked surprised."

"Did you hear about the two bros who travelled around the world while high? It was a joint venture."

"I hate being bipolar. It's awesome!"

"The Tin Man carries around an axe because he is constantly afraid Ironman is going to hit on his wife."