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Joke of the Day

"I hate being bipolar. It's awesome!"

"Arrested Development is cool, but when is Netflix gonna bring back my Grampa?"

"Hey, baby, are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside you."

"Donald Trump says he'll be more presidential from now on No Juan believes that!"

"If you had to choose between world peace and Bill Gates' fortune... What color would your Lamborghini be?"

"Was watching a fetish video and it cut to the guy at the last second I think I got off on the wrong foot."

"Unicorns are extinct because they weren't horny enough. mind=blown"

"I bet we'd have to say 'The steaks are pretty high' if a herd of cows ever got into a field of marijuana."

"My Wife Saw Me Licking A Yogurt Lid And Said ""Why Don't You Lick Me Like That?"" ""Because Yogurt Tastes Better"" The Divorce Is Next Tuesday"

"A man sees a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down a jail from a rope... ...he looks at him for a second, and says,""Well, that's a little condescending."""