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Joke of the Day

"*chasing after a rooster* give me your cool hat"

"Don't forget to celebrate Columbus Day by moving in to someone else's house and telling everyone it's yours, then closing the post office."

"How do you catch a Swedish fish? With a gummy worm as bait"

"Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stomp out forest fires. Why do elephants have big flat feet? To stomp out burning ducks."

"What's the best part of a redneck brothel? The family discount"

"Congratulations, ""journalists"" who tell celebrity gossip for a living. I didn't know you could get a degree in teenage girl."

"Why did some snakes disobey Noah when he said ""Go forth and multiply"" ? They couldn't they were adders !"

"There are 3 reasons for ""Liking"" someone's Facebook status: 1. I agree. 2. I realise this is about me, so I'm liking it to rub it in your face. 3. I want to bang you."

"Whats the difference between a hormone and an enzyme? You can't hear an enzyme"

"What does a chef call an undercover cop? Pig in a blanket."