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Joke of the Day
"My wife says I'm irresponsible with money! No change there then."
Next Joke
"What's black and white and has a dirty name? Sister Mary Fuckface"
"""Of course I can paint your ceiling,"" Michaelangelo scoffed. ""Gonna paint a bunch of dudes with their dicks out on it though."""
"Where do generals keep their armies? in their sleevies"
"You say you're an atheist, yet you tell people they can ""go to hell!"" Make up your mind already."
"If you tell me you're a fan of One Direction, please clarify if you're referring to the boy band or Kim/Kanye's baby."
"*anna quietly knocks on elsa's door after olaf falls asleep* do you wanna kill a snowman?"
"So I walked in to a brothel.. And shortly after entering I began assaulting everyone in the queue...then...umm...shit nevermind, I just punched up the fuckline."
"I sprayed a spider in my house with Axe, to try and kill it. But now it's name is Chad, and he's fucking my girlfriend..."
"What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub? The woman in church has hope in her soul... The woman In the bathtub has soap in her hole."