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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub? The woman in church has hope in her soul... The woman In the bathtub has soap in her hole."

"My son asked me the definition of impending doom. I just said, 'you know when you smell dog poop in the house, but you can't see it? That.'"

"""well well well, if it isn't the person who didn't like my Instagram photo"" is how i like to address pretty much everyone"

"My Ex-Wife My ex-wife and I could not reconcile our marriage because of religious differences. She thought she was God. I disagreed."

"What do you get when you cross a chicken with a duck? A bird that lays down !"

"SATURDAY TIP: simply because mother has fallen asleep that's no reason to stop the footrub"

"I wanted to put a pizza joke here ...but it was too saucy."

"What do you call a body with no nose? Nobody knows!"

"I once dated a guy with premature ejaculation. I don't know why. I knew it wasn't going to last. In fact, I could see it coming."

"Knock knock. Who's there? April Fool day :)"