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Joke of the Day

"Potatoes are just poor defenseless vodka fetuses. Remeber that the next time you eat a french fry or hash browns, you monsters."

"Seriously Alejandro, stop calling Gaga. I think she's made it pretty clear she's not interested and frankly you can do better."

"My girlfriend said she's leaving me because I always relate everything to Batman. What a Joker."

"What is Aladdin's favorite Pokemon? Magikarp. So he can take Jasmine to a Magikarpet Ride."

"The team that finished first in the local boat race were allowed to keep their boat. Scenes of celebration broke out when they realized they had won the champion ship."

"What has two wings and a halo? A chinese man on the phone! Wing wing, halo?"

"Which is better Pirate Bay or Pirate Bae? Pirate Bae, because it never goes down."

"""So sir, have you decided whether or not you'd like to buy this mattress?"" ""I'll sleep on it"""

"What did the unemployed hippie say when his dad told him to get a job. Namaste Jah bless."

"My friend asked me today if I started Christmas shopping. I'm crying. While digging a hole to bury her."