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Joke of the Day

"I was sucking off my new Thai bride, last night When I thought.. ""Hang on a fuckin' minute"""

"Two deer are outside a gay bar And one says, ""I can't believe I just blew 50 bucks in there"""

"I heard the Sandy Hook kids wanted books But instead they got magazines."

"I like my Facebook messages like my Fast & Furious movies: unseen."

"What do you call an Irishman with no arms and no legs on a pool table? Rick O'Shay"

"Girl at store thought CNN's Situation Room starred The Situation. No. Wolf Blitzer joins the cast of #jerseyshore next season."

"According to my current parking spot, I'm Chief of Police."

"Her: Hey, what does this dress say to you? *Whirls Around* Me: I'm not in the mood to listen to your clothes right now, I'm drinking!!"

"I told this cute girl some cheesy puns yesterday... She said they were hit or swiss. I guess I gouda done cheddar."

"What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tank? Men, get in the tank."