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Joke of the Day

"I like my Facebook messages like my Fast & Furious movies: unseen."

"A blonde woman one read that over 70% of car accidents happened within 15 minutes of home... She decided it'd be safer to live somewhere else."

"I walked up to a lady and asked... ...""Can I smell your feet?"" ""No."" ""Oh,"" I said, ""Must be your pussy I smell then."""

"What does eatin' pussy and the mafia have in common? One slip of the tongue and your in deep shit!"

"Why is santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year. Like most jokes on this thread this is stolen, not being a shitcunt and taking credit..."

"How do you know a soprano is at the door? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in."

"I want to make medical bracelets that say ""In case of emergency, delete browser history"""

"How many kids does a sterile German have? Nein."

"Still in line for the iPhone 5. I'm the only one here. Thinking this might actually be an abandoned Radio Shack. Still, gonna be worth it!"

"What should you do when life gives you melons? Get tested for dyslexia."