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Joke of the Day

"NSFW I got rejected from a job interview. Apparently, when asked an example you worked well in a team, ""gangbag"" is not an acceptable answer."

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"I got a new stick of deodorant today The instructions said ""Remove cap and push up bottom"". I can barely walk now but when I fart the room smells lovely."
"How did the sad mathematician kill himself? With a hypotenuse"
"Microwave Whats the hardest thing about microwaving vegtables? -fitting the wheelchair in the microwave."
"After weeks of speculation that the new pope would be black... ...alter boys at the Vatican are letting out a collective sigh of relief"
"What do you do if your dishwasher stops working? Punch her"
"My Muslim wife left me the other day.... I guess she didn't know what Jihad."
"Your ex is posting passive-aggressive spiritual memes again"
"I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. Because then I would know she is capable of making decisions she will regret in the future."
"<--Goes to gym 3 times a week... Cannot separate two shopping carts stuck together at grocery store."