96710

Joke of the Day

"Why didn't Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff? She was wearing mittens"

"Where do pencils come from ? Pennsylvania"

"I like my women like I like my hard drives... FAT and 32."

"Why is it called an ""almond"" in the tree but an ""amond"" when it falls to the ground? When it falls to the ground, it knocks the 'ell out of it."

"Tell 'em how it 'tis, not how it 'twas: Edition 2. The joke used to be ""If ya lick 'er, it's quicker"". Now it's: ""If y'ignore 'er, ya score 'er."""

"I cast a spell on a girl today and it actually worked! I focused in on the girl and said ""Virginus Protectus."" It worked because she walked away with a terrified look on her face."

"What did the old billy bobs eat at McDonald's? McChicken-killer... Yeah I'm really stoned smoked a chicken killer and ate McDonald's"

"What's a specimen? An Italian astronaut :-D"

"What does an aardvark get when he overeats? Ant-digestion!"

"Came up with this when I was 8, have mercy. What do you call a crazy person on the moon? A lunartic."