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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? Acne doesn't come on a boy's face until he's 12"

"You've gotta be careful talking to Steve Jobs because he'll say the word 'eyeballs' and really be referring to his custom-made Apple gonads."

"I was trying to help my blonde neighbour park her trailered boat in her driveway. Go ahead, back up, I kept saying...it took over 2 hours."

"Have you heard the joke about the butter? Never mind you would spread it around"

"I just finished watching the Curt Cobain documentary... It ended with a bang."

"Just saw a grasshopper jump on cement. THEY'RE EVOLVING."

"I'm taking a course with a focus on muscle fatigue. I don't want to talk about it. ...It's a sore subject."

"Why did the hipster's mouth hurt? Because he ate pizza before it was cool."

"When people show me pictures of their kids, I show them pictures of my exes If I have to look at their mistakes, they have to look at mine."

"My boss just informed me that a birthday is not a legitimate excuse to start drinking at 8am."