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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard the joke about the butter? Never mind you would spread it around"

"The difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is in the taste."

"Finally thought of a retort to my bro's friend who kicked me from his car in 1998 I don't need your Camero anyway Ricky MY LIFE is a joyride"

"Why did the child have two black eyes? Because telling them once wasn't enough."

"[spelling bee] Your word is 'arrogance' ""Can you use it in a sentence?"" Of course I can, don't be stupid"

"Q. Why did the line dancer cross the dance floor? A. To get to the other (Electric) Slide!"

"Brother-in-arms What did the russian soldier say when he held his newborn sibling in his hands for the first time? ""You're my brother in arms!"""

"A terrorist walks into a Christmas party Just kidding. He drove."

"I've limited my friends to 3 people that know how to split a dinner bill w/o causing a fiasco and life has been awesome since."

"The only thing my girl friend blows Is everything out of proportion"