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Joke of the Day

"don't get me wrong I love my life & family, but I'd trade it all IN A HEARTBEAT for the sweet parking spot I just saw this guy get at Costco"

"A poem for r/Jokes ""Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog."""

"Why was the graveyard so noisy? Because of all the coffin."

"What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangeroo ? A stripey jumper !"

"Did You guys hear what the Jews did when they rioted? They threw Mazel Tov Cocktails"

"I accidentally planted some marijuana seeds on my farm It's all gone to pot"

"It would have been cool to see the discovery of salt. ""This food tastes bland. Let's see if I can improve it by adding some rocks."""

"Patient: Doctor you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I JUST DID DIDN'T I YOU STUPID BASTARD!!!"

"A hamburger walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""Sorry, we don't serve food here."""

"Please stop looking so hot, I'm trying to stop liking you."