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Joke of the Day

"I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with but I have been tripping all day."

"What did the god of lightning say after working out for the first time? I'm Thor"

"why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner? he was already stuffed!"

"Whats brown and sticky? A stick."

"A farmer walks into his wife's bedroom with a sheep.... And says ""This is the pig I'm fucking."" His wife replies ""That's a sheep you fucking idiot!"" And the farmer says ""I wasn't talking you!"""

"what is the SEXIEST kind of tree??????? A COUNTRY!!!!"

"First woman on the moon W: Houston, we have a problem H: What is it? W: Nevermind its nothing H: What is the problem? W: Nothing... H: Tell us what the problem is! W: NO!"

"Why did Star Wars episodes 4, 5, and 6 come before 1, 2, and 3? Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was."

"Facepalm? Is that FaceTime for blind people?"

"Wanna hear a clean joke? Johnny took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was the girl next door."