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Joke of the Day

"Colonel Mustard. In the kitchen. Eating soup. Calm down."

"How man hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's an obscure number, your probably never heard of it."

"""I take pride in my job. I transport the worlds most precious cargo"" -oh, u drive a school bus? ""LMAO Hell no! I'm a drug smuggler u nerd"""

"Reddit is really a Green Community, considering that the joke's on you."

"Unless you're planning to lay there shirtless in an open casket, there really is no point to killing yourself with diet and exercise."

"My cock was actually in the Guinness Book of World Records once... But it really pissed off the librarian and she kicked me out!"

"Rape in an elevator is wrong.... on so many levels"

"What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber."

"Brie is my favorite cheese that sounds like a white girl you meet for a mani/pedi while drinking Chardonnay & quoting ""Mean Girls."""

"A truck carrying semen samples got into an accident... and lost it's load"