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Joke of the Day

"[NSFW] What did Olive Oyl say to Popeye on their wedding night? ""No fisting."""

"If we put aside our differences and work together, I truly believe we can come up with a few more alternate spellings of the name Britney."

"My son used to check under the bed for monsters. So once I hid under there - so he'd see me and laugh. Anyway, child therapy is pricey."

"I am waiting for scientist to invent invisible chocolate nobody will see me getting fat."

"Islam means peace! Stop means go, up means down, left means right."

"Mission Impossible? He's done four of them now. Let's call it ""Mission Pretty Hard but Ultimately Doable"""

"Martial arts movie, starring me Master: You wish to learn to fight? Me: Yes Master: The training is very difficult Me: Oh then no The End"

"Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap He was high on my list of priorities"

"Why is the set including the square root of 5 and the square root of 4 similar to the set including anarchism and authoritarianism? They are both unlike radicals."

"Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw? A: It's all in the grip."