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Joke of the Day

"What did Kenny G say when he got off the elevator? - What did Kenny G say when he got off the elevator? - ""Man, this place ROCKS!"" (from Stephen King - The Cell)"

"Hey Dad? Can you sing me the Alphabet? Sure, ""abcdefghiJK."""

"New neighbor: Hi. It's nice to meet you. Me: It's nice to meet you too. This is my daughter, 9 Neighbor: What's your Twitter @ Me: DAMMIT"

"I promised my wife I would not joke with her when she was PMSing. She has my word, period."

"Heard about the Polish Coyote? Chewed three legs off.. and still had one in the trap."

"Mistakes married men make: 1. Doing things. 2. Not doing things. 3. Thinking about doing things. 4. Not thinking about doing things."

"I told the cashier that her eyebrows were drawn too high I guess she didn't realize because she seemed pretty surprised."

"Why did the gynecologist take a vacation out of the country? To study abroad."

"What's the only acceptable filetype at The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning? .docx"

"Libra: You wake up fastened to a wooden stake. People in goat masks are dancing around a bonfire. We'll be honest. Things don't look good."