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Joke of the Day

"Mistakes married men make: 1. Doing things. 2. Not doing things. 3. Thinking about doing things. 4. Not thinking about doing things."

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"What do you call a black guy who puts on a guy fawkes mask? A Vinegar."
"How do you communicate with a fish? Drop him a line."
"What's the fastest way to get to a woman's heart? A knife."
"I can always tell which waiters are just in it to make money and which are in it for the love of grossly exaggerating how hot plates are."
"What runs faster? Hot or cold? Hot because everyone can catch a cold!"
"Yo mama so fat she wears a vcr as a beeper."
"If a tomato gets put in a coma for being gay is it a fruit or a vegetable? ...its a hate crime"
"What do you get when you take the pee out of poops oops"
"""So why do you wanna work at Petsmart?"" *imagines running out of the store with all the dogs in my arms* ""I'm a people person."""
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