96074

Joke of the Day

"If the opposite of ""pro"" is ""con""...... Then the opposite of ""progress"" would be ""congress"" I^will^see^myself^out"

"If sex were fast food, you'd have and M-shaped arch over your head."

"Accidentally pooped my pants in the elevator.. I'm taking this shit to a whole new level."

"Why was the nerd not late for class? ...He booked it."

"I like to listen to the Star Fox theme song to congratulate myself for having a successful string of social interactions"

"What did the whistleblower say after the blizzard in Russia? I'm Snowden!"

"What do you call a group of whales playing music together? An Orcastra"

"I'm into cryogenics. All the cool kids are doing it."

"So a man is alone in a forest And if his wife isn't around to hear him. Is he still wrong?"

"Why do black people have red eyes after sexual intercourse? Because of the pepper spray."