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Joke of the Day

"Why did Simba's dad die? He couldn't Mufasa"

"Lucifer, chased by an angel, hid himself in the London Philharmonic Orchestra He was eventually found in the horns section."

"My wife lost 200 lbs! I divorced her."

"How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb? One. We are efficient and don't have humor."

"For english press ONE. Para espanol el primo numero DOS. If you like totes can't even right now, obvs press THREE."

"I told my dad that I was having trouble getting all my homework done... So he told me, ""if you wait til the last minute, it'll only take a minute"""

"I had a window smash and impale me in the buttocks today... It was a pane in the ass."

"Getting a job right out of college... ENTRY LEVEL JOB OPENING: Hiring recent college grads. REQUIREMENTS: 5 years of experience, 6 Olympic gold medals, and super powers."

"What is bread's most deadly sin? Gluteny"

"I got this really good lifeprotip while in the shower, but I forgot it when I dropped the soap. Ah, now I remember what it was. Never pick up the soap when showering in a prison."